The Obligatory Baseball Episode

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A Historic Victory for the Brimstone Bombers! By Albrecht Von Manstein

Dear readers yesterday on what can well be called a field of battle the Brimstone Bombers won their first game against Donovan’s Demons. Yes, that Donovan… This historic game all began with a simple challenge or to quote one Brimstoner, “A slap in the face to Brimstones honor…” this heard repeated multiples times by the Brimstone Bombers owner and coach Lyle Cranston.

Mr. Cranston assembled some of Brimstone's best to avenge this slight against Brimstone's honor. The team consisted of Alex Williams, Pauline Haul, Caleb Blackwood, Doc James McCoy, Junior Joseph, Walter Kohler, and Jackson Tanning. When the call went out for players these people answered the heroes call. Rumor has it that Mayor Donovan even had to bribe several of their players in order to get them to play. The game itself was a close run affair, most of the players having only learned the rules several hours ago.

Mr. Blackwood pitched one hell of a game despite only possessing a single arm! Young Junior Joseph appeared to be playing multiple positions at once, making staggering play after staggering play. Mr. Kohler used his intimidating presence to make several runners on base rethink their life decisions. It was at this point, when Donovan's Demons had their backs to the wall that they brought in their replacement pitcher, Adolphus Spiker. Part man, part pitching machine! I am not being poetic here readers. Mr. Spiker literally had one mechanical arm that enabled him to pitch and hit faster than any limb made of flesh and bone could possibly hope to keep up with.

Undeterred the Bomber pressed on, and Donovan's Demons closed the point lead in the last few innings to the point where the Bombers and the Demons where all tied up at the bottom of the 9th! Two outs! Bases Loaded! Jackson Tanning up to bat, and it all came down to this! First pitch Swing and a miss! Strike one. Second pitch is high and on the outside, ball one. Third pitch, Jackson Swings and misses! Strike two! Count is 2 and 1. Fourth pitch Jackson gets a piece of it but fouls it off into left field. Count is 2 and 2. Jackson steps out of the batter's box to stretch and take a practice swing or two. He looks to his wife, our Sheriff Ara Vasquez, gives her a wink and blows her a kiss, before stepping back into the batter's box. The crowd holds their collective breath as the final pitch of this game is made. Adolphus' mechanical arm makes a whining noise as the steam builds to dangerous levels. The pitch is made, fast ball special right down the middle of the plate. Jackson is prepared for it, makes the swing, and knocks it out of the park! Winning the game 14 to 10 for the Bombers.