Pueblo Doctor Found Un-dead

By Lacy O'Malley, reporter for the Tombstone Epitaph

Reclusive mortician Dr. Thierry Fresnel of Pueblo, Colo. was found dead in his own establishment over the weekend, a victim of a grisly murder by vivisection with a sharp object. Dr. Clive Whitney and carriage driver Shawn O’Reilly are being held for questioning on the incident, but no other leads have been found as of printing time. Dr. Fresnel was a long-time resident of Pueblo and former science collaborator with Dr. Whitney. The two had worked together as colleagues for decades, and four years ago jointly announced the creation of a serum that would supposedly heal injuries almost instantaneously. However, the serum was not all it was cracked up to be, and after their failure the duo went their separate ways. Thus, Dr. Fresnel’s recent murder is quite unexpected, unless -- bear with me here, reader -- his serum was not so worthless after all. Sources say that Fresnel’s murderer made off with quite a few items from his lab, which speaks to their value. Still other sources have stated that Dr. Fresnel’s body was in a state of “undeath” when he was murdered, meaning that his organs had ceased functioning years ago and his blood had turned to a stinking, black ichor, yet he was still ambulatory and functioned relatively normally. Is this the result of his experiments with his serum? Time will tell.