Mound of Doom

Tales of a Livin' legend [by Lorkynd] - Words from A Minor Eyewitness [transcribed by this reporter]

"Today Oi'd seen the impossible. A legend in the flesh! Oi'm a worker in one of the minin' claims days ride outta Tombstone and yer ent believin' wot Oi'm a tell you. Things had been rough for us miners since that big pile of dirt and trash showed up, overnight I'mma' tell you too, eighty feet give or take a few tall it was and came outta nowhere. Well that weren't sitting well with the Union, 'unsolicited dirt dumping' and wot, but then people storted to vanish! First the men we sent up to look at that mess 'eap then a whole 'oard a kids. [this reporter is pleased to confirm the children were later located, and there disappearance was unrelated to any piles of dirt] Well when that did 'appen we sent off for a team to fix things. Then who would show up but some right uppity man with a shiny pick, a couple of fancy suits, some lady Brave and a bounty 'unter with one 'and! Well nah bounty here so not sure what he'd have been doing but the lotta them went into the mound and came back claiming it were some rattler's nest!!! [This reporter apologizes for the excessive punctuation, this is as it was relayed to me] Oi'd not thought much o' the shiny Miner but then he did prove he knew more than a thing about proper mine safety, organisin' a full plugging of the place with dynamite. They also did a fair thing warnin' us to all leave but there was no way a man who lived 'is whole life in a hole could miss them fireworks. So Oi snuck back after the evacuation. Well let me tell you it were a sight, if youv ne'er seen charges go off in sequence you'da thought the man was a musical stick wavey kinda man [this reporter must translate this to mean conductor, though the gestures were unclear] and the pile fell in on itself practically flat. Then Oi felt the biggest rumbles underfoot and the whole town wobbled like [several crass statements were made about a lady by the name of Millicent and her accoutrements, I leave the reader to infer the meaning] so Oi got out sharp. Real good thing to cos the whole place fell down right after and two of the biggest things Oi'd ever seen in my whole life came burstin' outta the ground! Worms! Musta been at least 100ft from end to end on even the shorter one. [This reporter would like to remind readers of Rattler's and other associated myths of the West] Well did that posse flee like any right sensible man? You'd bet your bottom dollar on it and Oi'd be two dollars richer. The mining fella just started to stroll forward, happy as [further comments about Millicent and the miner on pay day ensued that leave this reporter doubting the sincerity of a lady called Millicent where coin is involved] just stringing more and more sticks o' dynamite together. Now the whole time his posse 'ad been shooting up these worms and one of them were lookin' mighty cross for a mouth of wormy bits. The other was doing some weird mojo thing with these two science fellas that'd been in town earlier, but they had like a bottle of some hooch or not that the small worm were following but that ain't the real story. This bigger worm, at least 150ft dived onto the Mining man, and what does he do but give that beast an uppercut that'd send the devil crying. 'Oldin' them sticks of dynamite in hand he practically ran inna the worms mouth screamin' hell. Now Oi'd have said the man were dead and gone there but not even a second later the worm exploded!! And that was when I knew that miner were a legend walkin'.... Lyle Cranston, the Man who could beat down a mountain."

[This reporter has attempted to collect other stories of this 'legend' and has been largely unsuccessful outside of the New Mexico territory. As such he invites the reader to take this story with a healthy dose of scepticism, as a life inhaling mine gases can not be good for ones ability to accurately recollect a story.]