Hawley Gang Yee-haws at Bell Ranch

By Lacy O'Malley, reporter for the Tombstone Epitaph

The band of troublemakers known as the Hawley Gang were at it again last week, this time at the famous Bell Ranch in eastern New Mexico. The gang, well-known for their hooligan antics, invaded the 300,000 acre ranch with more than fifty men, and destroyed property, stole supplies and let loose the ranch’s prized cattle, worth more than $100 per head. Ranch owner Wilson Waddingham reported that the gang had been rounded up and their leader arrested, with only minor injuries on both sides. However, dear reader, this is where our light-hearted tale takes a dark turn. Reports from the ranch say that since the Hawleys invaded, a famine has gripped the ranch, and its once-rich futures have turned sour in almost an instant. More details will be printed as soon as they become available.